Side Chicks Vs. Main Chicks

2/13/2014

We’ve all heard of the 80/20 rule, whether it be a relative, a Tyler Perry film, or some hurt broad ranting on twitter about niggas aint shit. For all of you who are unfamiliar with the 80/20 rule, it is the notion that in a relationship you will only receive 80% of what you want from your partner. The remaining 20% is all the qualities or desires you hoped to receive from your partner. What would you do if there was a way to attain both that 80 and 20 percent? This is usually how side chicks are born. Now I’m sure a lot of you are wondering why the man needs a side chick in the first place, and I’m here to tell you that he doesn’t. The side chick is not a necessity for every man walking this earth and some men are happy being with one woman. However, the majority of men will tell you they do or have kept a woman on the side before. The main chick is often the woman a man has been with or known for quite a while. He is comfortable with her and potentially could build a life with her. He usually lives with her and/or spends the majority of his time with her. He has raw sex with her and maybe doesn’t pull out because he’s not worried about if she becomes pregnant or not. He would be honored to have her as the mother of his children. She has met his family and is very relaxed around them. She is typically the one he is in love with and has future plans for such as marriage and children. However, the common mistake of the main chick is getting comfortable with her position and becoming lazy after a while. She may no longer do the things she once did to satisfy her man and may even start to slack on her appearance. After being in a relationship for a while the main chick usually reveals her true form. She becomes more selfish, easily angered, and bitchy. You don’t know who this person is because she hid these attributes from you during the beginning of the courtship in hopes of not scaring you off. While not totally intolerable, she does regularly test your patience. The stress of a committed relationship is sometimes too much a for man and he begins to long for a getaway. His getaway is often the side chick. The side chick can offer him just as many benefits as the main chick can. Sex, conversation, stimulation, she cooks, she cleans, you name it then side chick can provide it as well. Now, the only real difference between the side chick and the main chick is the level of affection the man has towards both women, and if the side chick KNOWS about the main chick. Some side chicks do not know they are side chicks simply because the man has keep the fact that he has another woman a secret. In her mind they are in a relationship because of how the man treats her and she feels for him. Some side chicks know exactly what position they play as “the other woman”, and they are fine with that. They don’t care about not being his main chick because half the time they aren’t looking for anything serious themselves. They are perfectly okay with just casually having sex and kicking it with a guy with no real emotional commitment. They have a good understanding of what they want from each other and are just letting the good times roll. There is a common misconception that a man could not love a woman if he cheats on her, this is false. Men love differently than women, men cheat for physical satisfaction most of the time. He still loves his woman he is just sexually attracted to another. Women are attracted to other men as well, however their emotional attachments to their mates usually keep them from acting on their impulses. I am in no way justifying the action of cheating, I am just expressing through a male point of view why is sometimes happens. I for one am I supporter of both polygamy and monogamy. Studies show that women who participate in threesomes with their male counterpart’s usually have less problems in their relationships because she allows the man to fulfill his “needs”. Not saying that everyone should be out having threesomes, but you have to realize that different folks prefer different things. Monogamy isn’t for everyone and neither is polygamy. I believe you should stick to whatever works for you and your partner and what you feel comfortable with. Well, that’s all I have for today people, y’all be cool until next time.

68 Comments

2/13/2014 11:40:48 am

If a man loves a woman he will not cheat. What cheating does to most women is unexplainable. If a man makes a woman feel that way he does not love her.

Chill Fam

2/13/2014 11:54:49 am

sometimes things happen that you don't intend to. a woman will never understand a man, and a man will never understand a woman. love is love. if it is genuine it would take more than a few bumps to destroy that bond.

Nik

8/14/2016 02:06:04 pm

Cheating is not a bump

Shantel

10/13/2015 03:40:47 am

I have this guy that i would do anything for,he is married but lives in different places with the wife. But i offer him everything,perfect sex,i clean for him and we do many things together but mostly behind the doors,the guy provides me with everything but the problem is,he doesn't want to share me with anyother man.What do you think i should do?

Amber

12/22/2015 06:56:54 pm

How convenient for him. How sad and lonely for you. If a man is trying to run this kind of game on you and her, he will continue to because something is missing inside of him and he will never fill it. If you value yourself, or you'll eventually learn to, you will grow tired of this and move on. For your sake I hope you do sooner rather than later.

Eboni

7/15/2017 11:58:09 am

Do what you want to do because your a single woman. You aren't tied to anyone so you are free to date you just have to trust yourself more than a man. This has more to do with self-love, and you valuing who you are as a woman. We have lonely moments, but in that you have to fill your time with what you love. Dating a married man is so lonely, he will never have enough time for you, he will never take you out in public, you will never meet his family, and he can never just be with you. His wife will always come first. Those are some lonely nights. I thinking cutting it off is best. I don't think cheating is okay, it happens, but it's a choice. A lot of times people don't communicate that's the bigger issue. People fall out of love at times I think that's more of he reason men cheat outside of being womanizers, and just not respecting their commitment to a woman. They don't fully desire that person at times, but I think that should be a conversation baby this is what makes me happy, I love when you do this or that, sometimes I want to role play, we need to spice it up, and what's sad is people don't want to take the time to do that. The feeling of lust they get when cheating sometimes is what I think they desire more than really wanting to have sex with someone.
But if he is married or in a relationship he isn't honest so he won't be honest with you.
He willl continue to manipulate you to be his one and only but he'll hasn't been and won't be your one and only.
He wants to be in control so I would definitely do my best to walk away, and talk to someone who is single and able.

zuri

9/14/2016 04:12:27 pm

I agree with you.I know someone in a situation and he say he in love with his side chick and main girl. I feel like once you cheat on your main girl you not in love with her nomore.

Elsa

10/16/2016 07:51:59 am

not true. cheating doesn't mean you've fallen out of love. it's possible to love 2 people at the same time...both for different reasons. I'm speaking from experience

7/15/2017 12:02:21 pm

You can't love two people at once, you can't fall in love with someone your cheating on your partner with, you aren't being fully honest with either person. You can have love for both but not be in love with them. Like I just don't see that at all. Especially if your hiding one from the other, if it was an open relationship then possibly, but not when your hiding someone from someone else. A lot of men say that because they only have to momtenraily deal with the woman on the side so the attraction grows because she is his getaway from his relationship, but if he leaves his girlfriend for her some point down the line he'll be saying the same thing about her because she too will grow tired of certain things, get more comfortable around him, and the normal relationship issues will occur.

Gia

8/10/2017 01:30:41 pm

Maybe he loves both, why not

Mel

7/17/2017 10:35:05 am

This comment to me comes from inexperience. Having been both a main girl and a side girl I completely agree with this article. Men love differently from women. What you're talking about is assuming a guy has a strong level of empathy, one most women don't even have, to realize he's hurting someone he loves.

jen link

12/4/2017 01:48:56 pm

i was in a long distance relationship but i feel like i was side chick because he never let me talk his family but he is always talking to me and he act like one of those fuck boys and he talks to different girls and will post there conversations so stupid of him he thinks that i didn't know that he is fuck so i just ignore him, he text me and say he wanna breakup but he have no reason to explain but i think the reason

Nene

12/15/2018 07:54:18 pm

That's such a dumb comment from someone who probably never dealt w a decent man in her life- if he "didn't realize he was hurting someone he loves" why the hell would he lie and sneak around? These are just selfish ass people who love what women do for their egos and their dicks and their personal amusement, they don't even know what love means. Love is about trust and respect, not I want to keep this person and the benefits they bring to my life under conditions they would not accept if I was up front and honest. That's not love- fuck his juvenile feelings love is how you treat people, not a feeling you carry around inside while deceiving them. Foh

Kiki

7/29/2019 12:45:21 pm

I'm a side chick, he pursued me for over a year and then offered me an employment opportunity to facilitate our meeting up. We worked well together, professionally. He then took an interest in my child and has helped me with him tremendously. Any financial bind I have he offers to fix without me asking.

We started a romantic relationship with me knowing he was married and not intending on leaving his marraige. I was apprehensive but gave the relationship a shot anyways. I don't know what will come of it? He says he loves me. I never ask about his wife, he rarely mentions her unless he wants to vent about her. He says that when he's with me, he's all with me. I do love him and don't want to be without him but I do feel guilty.

Is it possible that he loves us both? Why did he pursue me for so long if he was happily married?

Nikki

7/29/2019 02:05:26 pm

Kiki,
Trifling boys will do anything that you allow them to do... Not sure if you believe in God or not, but do not forget that you will reap what you sow. (Galatians 6:7, 8) You have allowed yourself to become part of his adulterous affair and ruining another woman's home. Something that I am sure you wouldn't want done to you, yet you are setting yourself up for the same karma. Which is also why you feel guilty. Because if he can do it to her, do not deceive yourself into thinking that he won't ever do it you... He's showing you firsthand that he is not an honorable person, least of all a real man. And you have to know that if you move forward in your adulterous relationship, God will not bless your union. (Hebrews 13:4; Malachi 2:16; 1John 3:8-10) Because you know better...

Jan

5/21/2014 11:22:19 pm

Good article from a male POV. However, I do have one tiny bone to pick and that is the notion women love differently than men and cheat for different reasons.

More often than not, a woman cheats for sexual gratification. Yes, I know most think women cheat for an emotional connection and yes she'll make that claim if caught. However, realistically that misconception is still touted b/c it makes it easier for women to cheat.

Here's how : men think women care more about emotions than sex (sometimes true sometimes not) therefore a man will think his main won't cheat b/c her emotional connection won't allow her to. End result is he's less aware of the possibility of being cheated on and thus less likely to catch her. Course on the flip side, if he does catch her a man is more likely to dump the girl but that's another story.

Also slightly off topic but I'm interested in your opinion: Why do men get upset if their side chick is having sex with other men? Is it a territorial thing, a sign he's developing feelings, or something else?

12/22/2015 07:07:58 pm

I couldn't agree more. I think men prefer to believe that women are not as sexually primal or carnivorous as they are because it is a stereotype they are taught internally by other men since birth. Fact is women can enjoy no strings attached hot and steamy sex too. We also have fantasies that are dirty and not romance novel kind of stuff.

I do think women cheat for physical reasons. If their man is not satisfying them or trying enough to please her sexually it leaves the door open for another man to.

I've never understood why men prefer to think they are so different sexually than women. Probably because they actually understand so very little about it.

As for not wanting their side chick to have someone else, I think that is all ego based. It is human nature for both men and women to want to feel truly worshiped and adored and if you are the kind of personality to cheat then why would you stop at only wanting to everything to just one of your lovers. It's a ridiculously ballsy move for either sex and yet I see men do it often and whether they believe it or not, I've had plenty of girlfriends dishing it out just as much and still having both guys worshiping her like a puppet too.

MizzRebel

9/21/2017 05:33:15 am

I would like to know myself.Why do men get upset if their side chick is having sex with other men? Is it a territorial thing, a sign he's developing feelings, or something else?

latoya

7/23/2014 08:37:02 pm

in my situations i meet his mother sisters and brothers and recently found out he has been talking to a girl in london and in Pennsylvania neither have seen him but he paid for my ticket to and bought me all sorts of stuff but i am hurt he did tell me idk if i should leave him alone or stay...

RHINE link

7/30/2015 08:57:20 am

GIRL YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT YOUR THE SIDE BITCH AND THE MAN UR TALKING about is my man how long have been seeing each

PinkQueen link

8/7/2014 08:14:40 pm

A man really loves a woman,he will prove everything with action to prove that love that woman with action.

<a href="http://url7.me/dhDP1">www.pinkqueen.com</a>

Allison

1/12/2015 09:24:14 am

I don't know if I am the side chick or main chick. I fit into both those categories. I asked my man if I was his main or side he said I was his main. When we first started talking we were both talking to different people at the same time he was honest. A girl did call and say she was his girlfriend, I told her we were just friends. I talked to the girl a few months later and she said they broke up. Now I am his girlfriend. He is in prison for a year. He calls me from prison. He doesn't want me visiting him there. I have mixed feelings at first I thought he was hiding something now I don't really care to see him. I am trying to trust him. He also said he wants us to have a baby. I need advice?!

tflove link

6/8/2015 01:50:01 am

At the end of the day....the "MEN" who has their side chicks and main chicks, are the one's winning!!! Why I said this? Because both women can get PREGNANT! In my opinion, I think it's childish and full of Drama. Like who's really o.k. with having sex with someone else's man Or husband? ! That's just low. I don't care how much of a whore the side chick is, they have feelings just like the Main chick. And Feelings can develop. That's why it's NOT o.k. being a guys back up!!! But hey if it makes the side chicks "happy" then go for it.

Good luck!!!

Andrea miles

6/19/2017 11:10:35 am

Just be. Carefully girl I have a boyfriend and he be talking to other hoes but I no about them he be jusylt playing them for money trust me u his main just watch out for these thots they out here

12/15/2018 07:59:14 pm

Don't be an idiot- you're already clowning yourself if you have to ask "am I your side or your main" and "your only" not even an option- respect yourself! He don't want you visiting because his real gf is there on visit days- show your ass up unannounced and see does chaos not ensue

tabitha

7/5/2015 03:44:06 pm

im the main i guess. i mean we live together with his family. we have a baby. but i never thought about it. but i dont want to sit there and ask him. this is really silly.

Kitty

9/30/2015 05:45:25 pm

The Man I've been dealing with does have a Main chick & they have a couple kids together they live together & I knew about it from the jump. When he first approached me I was so against talking to him because I knew what it was but he would not give up on trying talk to me.. I was amused by the begging & asked like why are you unhappy? He said I'm happy just really bored. We became friends & I never had a man that I felt such a attraction to physically & emotionally. He always there when I need him. He freakin adores me & do such much for me. I forgot he even had a girlfriend for a moment because he's always available to me . I wonder whats his plans for the future to build a bond with someone else. I'm not dumb I already know the deal & more than likely if all this blow up in his face I'll be the one tossed to the side. I just wonder what goes on in a Mans head when he is in love but he's falling for another women also

Leane

4/5/2016 07:42:05 am

Hi I have this guy that I love so patiently and I'll do anything just make him happy but the thing is he has a girlfriend and that's the only obstacle that I'm facing, I don't know what to do now. Please help me

Nikki link

4/13/2016 03:37:27 am

Leane, he has a girlfriend. Why would you be willing to share a piece-of-man when you can "patiently" wait to find your own that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated?! We, as women, have to stop being so darn desperate and so accepting of any little bit of scraps a sorry-ass "man" wants to throw our way...

Stop hanging on to losers, sharing them with other women and learn to be a woman that KNOWS she deserves better and won't accept anything less. Even the Bible tells us that our hearts can't be trusted. And that's where we as women screw ourselves: "I love him..." Gotta use your head. Because clearly that "love" is one-sided.

Once you let a dude clearly see that you don't even respect yourself, then that's how he will continually treat you. Unlearn desperation and stand up and be a woman that deserves respect.

Cyndie

5/25/2016 01:06:11 am

I'm the side chick. He was honest from day one. So was I. I was in the process of getting out of a dead relationship. I liked him, we had fun. It gave me the courage to leave an unhappy, unfulfilling situation. We did a lot of things together, and then we fell in love. That scared me and I started to pull away because I wanted to see if I could be alone and be okay with it and at that point I no longer wanted to be a side chick. He literally went ballistic and made it clear he would not leave me alone because he loved me. Here we are 8 months later. He has tried everything to make me feel like anything but a side chick. I've met his family and friends and they know exactly who I am. I'm still not okay with being a side chick though. He's not married and has made it clear that he will not marry her. When I met him he was wearing a ring that she gave to him. She proposed to him at a family function the year before. When we met I asked him are you going to marry her, he said no and stopped wearing the ring soon after. And looks don't have a thing to do with it. I saw her and she's beautiful. So am I. I guess I was trying to figure out what our differences are. I'm more successful career wise but other than that we are similar in our lifestyles. So, here I am, wanting to not be a side chick, but hopelessly in love with the man and incapable of leaving him. Damn.

5/25/2016 08:19:09 am

Cyndie, I guess until you figure out that you deserve better only then will you stop settling for less... You should feel like you're better than sharing her "man" or anyone elses. As women, a lot of us have to work on our low self-esteem and desperation. It is OK to be alone. Why are you ladies SHARING another woman's man? It's trifling.

January Jones

12/14/2016 04:29:23 pm

You and I are in the same position except my situation started different. Him and his long term girlfriend had broken up and we started dating exclusively for a few months, then they got back together and he ended things with me. Fast forward 2 mos later, they broke up again and he came back to me again. We were together for 4 mos and then she wanted him back. This time, he got back with her again but didn't want to let me go this time around.

By this point, it was hard for me to detach from him and he was incapable of letting me go too. I'm still baffled at how I'm allowing myself to be involved with a man who is with another woman. I've tried to leave multiple times because it's embarrassing to get dumped for the same woman twice but leaving never works. We always agree that it's best to end things. And then he comes back a week later begging to see me or he plays the "friend" role and tries to be a part of every aspect of my life until we slowly start sleeping together again. I'm very pretty and attractive but she is a little prettier than me so I think that plays a big role in his decision since he's a tad bit superficial about looks. Also, he always talks about how much time and years they have invested in each other. I don't think he's completely happy with her hence why they keep breaking up so much but I think he feels too invested to not keep giving them a chance. I told him that he should just focus on fixing things with her and leave me out of it but he says he's afraid that I will find someone else and that if they end things again, he won't have a chance to seriously be with me.

I mostly empathize with him because I was in this same position before. I was engaged and me and myfiance were not happy together but we did not want to let each other go either. I met a wonderful man who was all that I could ever ask for but I was pinning over my ex fiance non stop and never gave the wonderful guy a real chance. My ex fiance was also cheating on me non stop but he always chose me over them. He wanted to marry me and he saw a future with me but he cheated all the time. I think it's because neither of us wanted to admit that we were not happy together. I'm sure he missed some great opportunities with other women trying to stay with me and I know I missed some great men trying to work things out with him.

Til this day he still says he would marry me. Men can be very strange when it comes to love. They can be perfectly ok with marrying a girl because she fits his wife image and be completely miserable with her. In contrast, they can meet the most perfect women for them, the love of their lives and push her away if she doesn't fit into his idea. This is why I always blame men for the high divorce rates. Rarely do men choose the better women for them, they choose the woman who fits the idea of what he thinks he should have. And once they realize that an idea can't keep them happy and fulfilled, they start cheating and creeping and living double lives.

Anyway, your situation sounds hopeful. My guy is not married and I know they have problems so I think there is a lot of hope between us. He's seems stubborn like my ex, where is has his mind set on her but they will eventually give it up one day because I can tell he's not all the way happy with her. He knows this and that is why he keeps me close.

Jenny Ramirez

11/19/2017 03:22:08 am

Damn

Cass

7/25/2016 10:00:00 pm

I'm afraid to be in a relationship these days Nevada of these men abs their side chicks. I want affection and dates and all that but I still cannot bring myself to be someone's side piece.

lana

7/28/2016 01:38:20 pm

I am a side and a main right now. My situation is: I love my boyfriend (4years), he is a good father (we have a 2 year old), we get along great (think best friend) and he trusts me almost entirely. The first 3 years of our relationship were the hardest I had ever been through with someone. He beat me, cheated on me, lied to me daily, stole from me etc. To be honest, I've been through so much in life that these things didn't upset me like that would a normal person. I had just come out of prison when I met him and because of it, fell hard and fast. So with every bad thing he did I just absorbed it and grew this hate and lust for revenge in my heart. I ended up keeping him because he pays half the bills and takes care of our son while I'm at work... or... "OUT".
Over the years I moulded him into a pretty great guy. He is no longer easily angried, he no longer goes out (or anywhere really), he has held the same job for over a year (he used to change jobs twice a month or not work at all for months at a time) he hasn't raised a finger to me, he is considerate and caring, anything I ask he does.. just all around great since the last year. I attribute that to me sticking with him through it all. I truly believe that this is how all of those people that have been together for 60 years and what not, did it. They just stayed together through all the bull and mess ups and acts some time, they learned how to be in a relationship. The only problem with my Bf now (and always) is that he has a wonderful penis that he has no idea how to use. I have had many talks with him about our sex life and even told him exactly what and how I want it, nothing helps. He is just no good.
So about 8 months ago my best friend had her birthday at a big casino in our town and got a suite for the night. We bar hopped a bit throughout the night and spent some time playing pool at a local bar with some guys we had seen therebefore a few times. We deunkingly invited whoever wanted to come, back to our room. That is where it started with my side piece. He was at the room. We ended up on the balcony alone together and he offered himself to me. I turned him down because I had a boyfriend (that's what I told him at first) but the real reason is because I could feel how good out sex would be before it even happened. I knew it would be exsplosive and I wouldn't want to quit, I wasn't interested in juggling a side and a main... So I let him go. The next night I went to the same bar and he ended up being there again too. He asked if I would go ride with him. We ended up parked at his sister's house talking and listening to music... His mind turned me on. I ended up jumping his bones and blowing his mind. That's where it all started. About two weeks later he picked me up and told me he had purposes to his girlfriend of two years! He said we had to stop and I agreed... but he never stopped texting me asking for it! I continue having sex with him because I like it. I don't think I'm in love with my boyfriend, although I do love him deeply. And frankly, I have no remorse from cheating on him or lying to him, it actually makes me smile. I guess that is because I am not truly over what he did to me.... I really don't know. It is possible that I enjoy hurting him not for revenge but because I just like hurting people and I feel like I have a pass to do so freely from what he put me through. I am not in love with my side. I have no desire to persue a relationship with that sex god... I sometimes even feel bad for his woman. But it isn't my place or business to do anything about it. If he wasn't screwing me, he would be screwing someone else.... so why not let us both have a glorious time screwing eachother? Im confident that if we never get caught, we will never stop. I dont want any more than primal, passionate, sloppy, filthy, anything goes, laugh about it sex, from my side and I'm sure that's all he wants. I like it like this. We fill the only void that our S.O.'s don't fill... So, I have a very satisfying life. It's not for everyone. Everyone doesn't have to agree with it... infact, no one has to. This is our only life. I'm not living it for what someone else thinks is okay. I'm satisfying ME. Because ME is all I really have.

Moe

7/6/2017 04:59:10 pm

You just a Bonafide HOE. Who's probably carrying that package...SMDH..You will get it back...Hoe

Erica

5/26/2019 03:52:39 am

Why do you care so much about what other people do??? If it ain’t yo man wtf you worried about it for? Evidently if he don’t give a fuck about his own damn relationship why should she? She can’t fuck if he isn’t entertaining 🤷🏾‍♀️

Trina

9/14/2016 03:36:51 am

I'm new to dating again and "side chic" issues. I had been married 19 years and I left the marriage met a guy I knew he had lots of women I "just wanted to try him out". 10 months later I'm in love with him and he says he loves me but I keep thinking about when we met it was fun and sex then my divorce became final he stepped his game up taking me out and introduced me to his family and friends (he's only met my son and friends). Am I still one of his toys or am I the main chic now

yummypearl

10/15/2016 06:31:38 pm

Ok I got a good one I'm a beautiful 23 year old woman 3 little ones. Married. Now I met this 33 year old and he has 3 kids but we text a lot. He is very sweet and for the first months never mentioned sex or anything on that subject. Let me go thru his phone once. Then as I got comfortable I gave in at his place, now I can't ask his dad about him bc his dad also likes me and gives me money when i want. But h has 2 baby mothers. One has his daughter another has his sons. His crib is two bedroom ones the main room anthother like a little girls room(round his daughters age). He claims it his female cousin that live there. He felt sorry for her and her child and let em move in. Never let's me go thru his phone after that one time he says that's privacy and has nothing to do with me. His vehicle plates say his daughters mother's name in front but he claims he pay her to use her vehicle while his is in the shop. Texts me and call all the time. Claims he loves me. And wants to b with me. Won't add me on fb says he dont put social media in his business. So I can't see anything he posts or nothing. Idk if I'm his side chick or whats going on he comes over and we sex but never hangout h claims its always basketball with his sons or he has the kids

7/6/2017 04:57:49 pm

You're a Goofy Yummy Pearl and he's gonna keep treatin yo ass!!!!

Thamie

11/15/2016 08:09:47 am

im 21 years and i have been dating my boyfriend for 8months now, he says he loves me and want to be with me still in future. when we met i had a boyfriend and he had a gf, recently he told me that he do not know what to do b/c he is not sure if we will last. i tried breaking up with him and he says he can not let me go. ... help pls

11/15/2016 02:35:50 pm

Hey Thamie, ultimately, you need to do what's best for you, girl...Either you can step away from the relationship, continue to date or not, but allowing him to figure out what he wants to do with himself as well as your relationship. Or continue in a relationship with a guy who's unsure about where the relationship is going, if anywhere at all...

The choice is definitely yours, but as a woman that knows what you want and deserves to have a clear picture from him as to where the relationship is going, the LAST thing you want/need to do is keep investing your heart, time and love into a guy that doesn't even know what he wants...

11/15/2016 02:41:29 pm

And Thamie, I meant that you step away from the relationship and date OTHER PEOPLE or not...while allowing him to figure himself out...😉

11/15/2016 02:39:42 pm

And Thamie, I meant that you step away from the relationship and date OTHER PEOPLE or not...while allowing him to figure himself out...

vickyrozz

2/25/2017 10:11:33 am

, I love my bf and av given mostly everything just to make him happy,he knows my family as well as I know his family he's very proud of me....we are always together,he doesn't want to miss me a bit..but there is this girl Dat he was dating b4 me she was his side chick while he was dating his ex gf...when they broke up he came after me and he has promised and will do everything to be with me.but he still call this side chick she always call and text him...my bf promised not to leave her watever she want to do she always tell my bf....she is so jealous if my bf upload my pix on his profile she always brags abt me Dat my bf should leave me although he flirt with other female but I don't know why he's still with the gal,she even send my bf card and money....she is ok been a side chick and will wait till we breakup....if my bf love her he would have taken her serious since they were together b4 w met....and now Dat my bf and I is getting along she still disturb my bf.am just confuse don't know Wat to do

Nope

3/9/2017 09:29:17 pm

I fell for an amazing truck driver. Said he was separated. He has a magnetism out of the world. I did some soul searching and prayed from the bottom of my heart to break free. I believe the bible when it says sin shall have no dominion. I want God more. I picked a fight with him. Like chess I set up my Victory and called a checkmate. I miss him to no end. He made me feel sexy. He made me feel desirable. To know him is to Love him. But I just Love God and myself more. I gave up this relationship as a sacrifice to God. I have to face the pain. I have to face the truth. I was his be he was never mine. However, the break up brought me to my knowledge knees but I am more effective as an I dependent woman with the loose ends so I can focus on my dream to help people with special needs. My dream is worth possibly loosing get the love of a life time. How bitter sweet. Victory wrapped in person all defeat. He like Judah pushed me into my destiny. I will rise to help those who can't help themselves. I will succeed and not as a side chick but as a world changer. Freedom and healing are my future now. I took back my dignity and demanded that I be respected. No holds bar I deserve better and we want better for our children.

SMB

4/20/2017 04:41:50 pm

Wow! I am so moved by the way you expressed yourself that it has made me think about my current situation. I've been seeing someone for almost two years, I am very satisfied with this meeting up and then going on with our separate lives. I know I should end it, but I never really had the drive, or a reason and now I do because of your words. "I believe the bible when it says sin shall have no dominion. I want God more." I hope you are successful in life and achieve your dreams. Good things happen to good people, and inevitably it will happen to you too.

Pearl

5/24/2019 05:50:46 pm

I love this

SVW

5/27/2017 08:37:23 pm

I'm a side chick. We were up front with each other. I told him, I didn't want a relationship. He told me about the problems him and his wife were having. One thing lead to another. I know I should stop seeing him, but I can't. He can't stop seeing me either. I know this is going to end badly. But somehow, I don't even care.

siennabale

7/2/2017 02:18:45 pm

Fix your marriage and relationship after a breakup or divorce, 100% guarantee Love spell..! A very big problem occurred in my Marriage seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. I sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he is coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Ifi, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you........ Email him at ( dr.ifi.spelltemple@gmail.com ) Call +2347031991061 Thanks for reading.

MOE

7/6/2017 04:56:29 pm

A DAMN SICKO..TALKING BOUT SOME LOVE SPELL SHIT..SMDH

Monica92

7/10/2017 12:12:47 pm

My ex and I broke up after a domestic violence dispute because of a two week restraining order. I moved cities away because I wanted a fresh start. He did not contact me. Nine months after, I contacted him to get some closure. It was wonderful to talk to him after the separation. He had been working with an anger management group, and I was working with a therapist for my anger issues. We were able to acknowledge that we didn’t have any methods to handle conflict resolution in a healthy way. We had gotten resentful, and worse and worse behavior started occurring when we fought.
I know reuniting with an ex is delicate to manage, and when there is an incident with the law, it only gets more delicate. However, we have been back together for ten months and just moved back in together after the help of ancientpowerfulspell@outlook.com or website:
http://ancientpowerfulspell.webs.com I’m glad we both saw our potential and had the chance to work on behavior issues with professionals without the involvement of the other, thanks again Lord Afar for job well done.

Jasmine

7/11/2017 09:37:53 pm

So can a man be in love with two women?
I recently put myself in a situation where I WAs a side chick and knew it. We were both honest about everything but then we got too involved with each other and fell in love : I'm talking hanging out all the time and talking every chance we got and we even did family outings ( he has two kids and so do i) the chemistry we had was better than my last two relationships. He opened my eyes to certain things that I wanted out of man (besides the cheating) I tried walking away from it four times but he always got me back. He admitted to loving me first. Hell he even called me his girlfriend as well! He showered Me with gifts and for my kids. But I knew he would never leave his girlfriend because they have kids together as well. I even told him don't because I've been in that situation.
I've recently moved to another state to work things out with my baby daddy (aka my first love and boyfriend) I'm supposed to be trying 100% but ol boy keeps flooding my mind because I'm telling yall we had a serious connection. We email each other during the week. I don't know what to do anymore. I kniw if i visit home im going to see him. But I know he can't possibly love me if he's with his girlfriend right? I need advice because I'm being stupid.

jasmine

7/16/2017 09:51:00 am

So even if he told me that because of how he was brought up, he's staying with his baby mom because that's the right thing to do for his kids? He looked me dead in my eyes one dead, serious face and all and told me ,"I want to be with you. But I have to at least try for my kids."
What does that mean?

7/16/2017 05:57:34 pm

Jasmine,
It should mean that you need to walk away and not only leave him alone, but have enough respect for yourself and the next woman to give her family a chance. The same as you know that you would want for yourself. Karma truly is a b$#ch... The problems you make for someone else is always repaid back to you. Not to mention that the elders always said that how you get a man is exactly the same way you lose him. He's showing you the type of low-life that he can be to her...Do you really think that you are so much more special that she is that he won't do the same to you?! Stop deceiving yourself and open your eyes.

As women, we have to stop being so desperate and allowing these little boys to separate us by choosing to share them. I have no clue if you believe in God or if prayer has any place in your life, but if it does, you really should think about the choices you are making and how He must feel about them.

Marie

8/16/2017 09:33:03 am

Ladies please listen because I am going to be as honest as I can as I have been on both sides.

I have read all the comments above and no one is right nor wrong, but everyone here is hurt and has a void they are trying to fill.. I (unfortunately) was once a side chick but I was so naïve about it. The man I was seeing had a fiancé and a child, BUT I did not know they were married when we met as he told me they were divorced... which they were... but he proposed again, meaning their relationship was still active. I found out about the re-engagement after we'd been messing around heavily for 7 months! He always talked about the bad parts of her and why he left her when we were together. We were kind of like homies (in my head) and the sex was amazing!!! He and I hung out in public and even worked together.. people knew we were talking and it was no secret! He played the role very well... Needless to say I found out about the reengagement and was so hurt.. he was upset I found out and tried to sweet talk me saying he really cares and would rather be with me but.. but that's what he SAID... His actions showed otherwise, but at the time I was dick-timized and couldn’t see it for what it was. Long story short.. he never left the wife he originally had. They had a different type of love, yes she got on his last damn nerve but he loved her enough to stay with her!! I was just a relief from the stress he called and that alone! Just because a man is irked and pissed at his significant other and comes to you does NOT mean you have one up on her nor that he will leave her… he is just stuck in an emotion. Im not saying that he had no feelings for me as I know he did.. but those feeling are very small and irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
Don’t feel special because a man buy you food, hold your hand, txt/call you and vent to you. Of course he is going to do that because any woman with morals not going to entertain a man that says "yea you just some ass to clear my mind right now.. just a temporary vacation until I go home..". You attract more flies with honey and that sappy shit is just going to get you hurt! I am so ashamed for messing around with the married man! His wife found out about me after he told her and called me and revealed even more secrets he'd been keeping; she was pregnant and he'd given her a disease!!!!... I was spared as I didn't contract it! Thank GOD!!! All I can say is he had me totally convinced thru words that I was special and my dumbass believed it because it felt good to have him around. I wanted that male presence. I was desperate at the end of the day. Sometimes you have to put your pride aside and realize what you really are and what you are doing! We all have weak moments but you decide whether that’s who you are!
IF the man you are messing with is still with their wife or gf.. they are still holding on to hope! They still love that person! Doesn’t matter if they shit talking the significant other or not. living together or not- You are just a cushion in between the hard place that he and his actual significant other are in!
I was raised better than to be a home wrecker so for those that can openly do that I cannot relate to you. But for those that didn’t know of a previous situation and got caught up emotionally then found out, I feel for you.. but PLEASE leave! If he wants you he will do whatever he can to be with you.. Meaning divorcing her, leaving her, etc. But as a woman of value you should not want to ruin a family even if issues already exist!! God sees all,.. and for those that are not religious Karma is real and I will explain that later!
But before that lets dig deeper… if this man is weak enough to cheat on his significant other because they are in a bad place… what makes you think you are special? When you get on his nerves he is going to do the same thing to you, and the next woman and the one after her! Being weak doesn’t mean he is a bad person but at the time emotionally and mentally he is weak for pursuing his actions of cheating.

Now, two years after the awful side chick experience, I am in a relationship with a man I love dearly. But relationships are not easy! It takes work, sacrifice and true love to make it work. He and I were all good at first until the honeymoon phase was over. Our first argument was a rough one! We were already living together and tensions rose quickly but didn’t get released until all at once that night! I said and did very hurtful things, as well as he. But never physical on his end.. but ladies you know when you get really mad you may throw a slap or two. I felt so hurt and didn’t think about how the fight made him feel..
About 5 months later I became suspicious of him and went through his phone and saw a text from a girl saying ily with a kissy face. I snapped! Called the girl and found out they hooked up at her place while I was on a vacation. I was

8/16/2017 09:35:17 am

Cont'd..

I called the girl and found out they hooked up at her place while I was on a vacation. I was devastated! This whole time I thought we were good and had moved past everything, but he hadn’t. I call and txt my friends and release tension, but he hit up females to fill the void of affection and pride he claims I took away with the harmful words I said to him. Now I know a lot of ladies are screaming BULLSHIT right now but lets think about it! People express themselves differently. Granted he should have told me, “Baby this really broke me down, you stole my pride” but what man is really going to do that early in a relationship? Especially one who is used to having females in and out like a drive thru. I stayed with my boyfriend after the cheating because I see change in him through his actions. He spends all his time with me, we work the same hours, he home every night, we make dinner every night, his phone is never buzzing off the hook at any hours and when it do he shows me who it is.. he really shows that he cares for me! But he still messes up sometimes.
There has been much drama with his baby mother and I but I know it is because they have history and she realizes that they are officially over because of how long we’ve been together and how close we are. She was his 1st girlfriend and I am the second. They have a child together which keeps her around unfortunately.. I understand why she may feel entitled to him but she has to let him go! In being that I know he strayed when we used to argue I can believe that maybe he messed with her again but to him it’s literally nothing.. But to the female it’s something!
I have had valid reason to leave this man but I love him dearly. We have begun to communicate a lot better in these past few days and our relationship is stronger than ever! We talk like friends first then lovers. He tells me what he needs from me and vice versa so there is no need for secret cheating.
Again all men are different, some are okay with one woman and others want a platter. But all men have temptations. There will be other girls around always waiting for the main woman to slip up and her man to fall into their arms! But as the main woman you must know your worth in your life and his. If he gets caught cheating or tells you he cheated ask yourself, “Is it because of something I am doing to really hurt this man and he not telling me?” “Is he trying to make the relationship work or has he been distant and quiet and weird?” Then decide whether you should stay or not.
Many men are sensitive and I hate to say it but what one woman won’t do, another one will… quick fast and happily! Just because he strayed doesn’t mean he don’t love you nor that you are less of a woman for him, but it means he needs something out of the relationship that you aren’t giving at the time! Communication is KEY!
Lastly, depending on the man you are dating, getting girls and texting them, DMing them or flirting could just be a joke to them.. YES it’s harmful to their significant other but they aren’t thinking about that at the time, its just about who can bag this girl first. But the girlfriend (or “wifey” as they say) is the respected one. Some random girl they meet out is just a game, the homies can talk to her and she can move on and it be nothing but no one is, nor should be, able to try or intimidate the girlfriend/wife as she is HIS WOMAN! His everything.

I’m trying to grasp all of this as well but love is a learning process and different for everyone and every relationship.

Plz share what you think about this! 

12/8/2018 05:07:26 am

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years. I broke it off with him after finding out that he’s been cheating on me for about a year with someone that he used to work with. The sad part is that before use even breaking up he had already made it official with her and updated his status on social media ( something he didn’t do with me because of him and I being from different cultures), needless to say we were still together when they became official. Now that they’re together he keeps looking for me (calling/texting) almost on a daily to say he loves and misses me.

12/8/2018 12:45:42 pm

Why haven't you blocked him or changed your number yet? All he's trying to do is have his cake and eat it too, IF you're foolish enough to believe him... Hope you're not. Don't allow anyone to use your feelings against you and that's all he's trying to do. Girl, please, I would've changed my number so fast!

Melicsa

8/31/2017 09:54:59 pm

I was really missing my wife when she left me for someone else. I was weak to take care of some situations and i let her slip my arms. I had to talk to my partner at the office who recently got her husband back. She told me to get in touch with John Patience who helped her get her husband back with a love spell. I was very sure of this because John has helped my partner get her husband back. So i called John Patience and told him i lost my lover and wanted her back. He encouraged me and told me to be happy. He did his thing and told me my wife will be back in 45 hours. I waited for that time and my wife called me and told me that she has forgiven me and ready to take me back in her life. Since then, my wife and i have been enjoying our marriage with our lovely 4 kids. I am very grateful to John for what he has done for me. I'd advice you to ask him for help if you have any problem on your relationship and some other aspects of life. His email is loveforever0001@yahoo.com 🙂

Aubrey

9/29/2017 04:58:27 pm

if anyone said to you i love you just say i agree after a week watch her step or move

Allie

11/20/2017 04:46:42 pm

I am the wife and my husband is sleeping with a 21 yr old we have 5 kids together is there any advise I can get to help with stopping him he says he want to be with me and love me. But I am to the breaking point of not knowing how to fix things I want to be with him I love him but he says there are things that I am doing that he doesn't like and even when I stopped doing those things he is still not happy. Plz and advise I can get to help I will appreciate it

11/21/2017 12:02:19 pm

Hello Allie, while I was reading your comment I was shaking my head in disappointment because I don't understand why we as women are so tolerant of this kind of utter disrespect....HAVE YOU ASKED YOURSELF, 'If the shoe was on the other foot, would he be still here? Would he be so tolerant of me cheating with a another man especially a younger man?? Would he be sticking around trying to negotiate changes in his attitude that aggravates you in order for you to stop?? Or would he just be gone???'

If your answer is no, then WHY are you??? And please don't lean on the fact that there are 5 kids. He knows that he has 5 kids too. Yet, obviously, he could care less...Because has that fact deterred him from laying up with this other chick? Nope.

You gave no details of your circumstances like whether he works or whether you work or have supportive family members that can help, but you did say that you are married. Which means that you have the law on your side and the best way to get a dude to see the error in his ways is by hitting those pockets...I don't know about you but I am appalled at the idea that he is spending money on this little girl, and disrespecting the sanctity of your marriage with very little regard for your feelings and the emotional damage he's reaping upon your household.

You asked what you should do...I say it's time to put your big girl panties on and go for his jugular. Financially. Throw him out. File for child support. And divorce, if it was me...And take your life back. Don't use your kids as an excuse to hold back and stay in a bad situation. Because your husband certainly isn't...

Anonymous

2/2/2018 08:44:21 pm

I am involved with a man that has a girlfriend. When we initially started, I was in a relationship also. He was my side dude at some point. We'd creep away and have amazing sex, slow and passionately everytime, lasting anywhere from 2-4 hours. We Caught feelings for eachother. He told me he was in love with me. I felt the same. We've been seeing eachother for 4 years now. We go out in public together, locially...He has spent the night with me. I've met all his friends. His friends have told me he has a whole album of my pics in his phone and that he addresses me as his girl, to them. He has been caught kissing my photos also. We take pics together and he has posted them up on social media. He's always video tapeing me. Telling me he wants me to untie my tubes and give him a baby (NOPE). He has spent time with my kids, holds my baby. I pick him up and drop him off sometimes, right in front of his door. We get tested frequently and are clean and have been having raw sex for the last 3 years. He has talked about having a relationship with me. What im trying to say is, every man is different. All side chicks are not hidden away, in fact, some get more exposure than the main chick. Im not condoning this behavior at all. But shit happens and this is my first time being a side chick...Ive always been the main chick and got cheated on, stepped on and treated like shit. Not every side chick wants a relationship or wants to take the main chicks place. Some Of us know that we will get treated the same and our position will become available. And let's be honest, who would want a relationship with a known cheater? I like my situation bcuz I have the opportunity to walk away. While the main chick buys him everything, takes care of him and provides shelter. I don't do anything for him, except all the freaky stuff she won't do. There's no robbery in fair exchange. When I get ready to try the relationship thing again. It won't be him, that's for sure.

Margaret wyne

11/20/2018 06:34:27 pm

My Husband divorce me for no reason, Thanks to Dr.FREEDOM for bringing back my husband,and brought great joy to my family once again, My name is Alberto Stephanie. i live in US, I`m happily married to a lovely and caring Husban,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he did not love me anymore So he packed out of belongings from his house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again.on a faithful evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my Husband So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back it all seems to be a dream,but it was all reality and my heart was full of joy,that was how he asked me to come back home that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistakes,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster.So i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same Doctor ,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. Thanks you sir, for bringing back my husband,and brought great joy to my family once again. His spell is a 100% Guarantee for your situation,if you are in a relationship without kids Dr Freedom can also help you. Email him now. freedomspellcast@gmail.com or reach him on WhatsApp +2348070670337.Good luck as you cantact Dr Freedom today because he is indeed a problem solver.

LISA CAILLO

11/23/2018 06:09:56 pm

My love life has changed for better since the interference of the most powerful spell caster on earth called Dr. Azuka in my relationship, My testimony today is in regard of the help that Dr. Azuka render me when my lover departed from me. Am from USA and it gives me joy today in writing this testimony as a way of showing my appreciation to Dr. Azuka and at the same time i am using this opportunity to advise those that are finding stress and pains in their relationship or marriages to contact Dr. Azuka who is the best spell caster in the world through these contact details via email: dr.azukasolutionhome@gmail.com or his number +2348132777335.Because Dr. Azuka is the only one that can restore your marriage or relationship with love. He can also help to win lottery spell,contract,sickness and more.

Gracia

5/29/2020 06:38:45 pm

My husband and I separated in Sept but got back together on the 17th Sept until the first week Oct when he said he didn't love me anymore. I've found hotel receipts and indecent images and condom receipts for the 3rd time.I couldn't place it,at some point i thought i was letting sentiment cloud my sense of judgement.Thanks to ''hackingloop6@ g m ail . co m''whose hacking service gained me remote access to his phone activities and exposed even worst than i had anticipated. Could this be grounds for adulterous divorce? well at this point i think i it so inevitable.

5/31/2020 03:20:22 pm

Yes, it is grounds for an adulterous divorce. And a Scriptural divorce. Why would you want to try to hold on to someone like that? Time to use your head and not your treacherous heart.

Side Chicks Vs. Main Chicks

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